Not Really Sure What the Fuck I Should Call This #3 (Or Monkey Rant)

For the last few years, I have been enthralled with monkey videos on YouTube; cute monkeys, abused monkeys, sick monkeys, monkey baths, lonely monkeys-doesn’t matter.  I’ll watch them all.  And it all started with me typing in a search of smacking a monkey.  And it took off from there!

Now, I am sure that there is a psychosis for this, but I don’t give a flying fuck!  It could be worse.  I could be watching gay midget porn!  Oops!  Is it okay to say “midget”?  Or does it have to be dwarf?  I don’t know.  Dwarf sounds so much more, I don’t know, insulting.

Let’s face it, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was a fairytale!  Wasn’t Snow White raped by the dawrfs?  Nope.  On doing some meager research, Snow White wasn’t raped, but according to Dr. Spencer Reid of Criminal Minds, Sleeping Beauty was raped by the King in her sleep.  Either way you go, it’s fucked up.

But that’s the way Disney movies usually go.  They whitewash the original story to make them more palatable.

In the original version of Snow White, the Queen wanted a huntsman to take her daughter out into the woods, kill her and bring back the little girl’s lungs and liver.  And this story was written in, what, 1819?  And people say that Stephen King is fucked up?

I’ve gotten off the beaten track.  Stay away from gay midget porn.

Where was I?  Oh yeah!  Monkey videos.

At first, I was somewhat offended by some of the monkey abuse videos I found on YouTube, but then, I remembered I was looking for videos of people smacking monkeys.  I will say this for the Chinese: one, they can really FUCK UP the world’s system (that is if you really believe the COVID-19 virus came from a bat in the first place); two, hearing them talk is so fucking annoying (ching wang chaw oosa!, if you don’t think that’s funny, then you can get the fuck out!); and three, they’re really not fans of monkeys (or, any living creature, for that matter; let’s face it, the Chinese don’t put much of a value on life; hey, they fit right in with the Democrats!).

Now, I could say that I like to watch videos by American monkey owners, but then I’d be lying.  They talk too fucking much, too!  But usually, they’re trying to explain shit to potential monkey owners.  It’s like just smack the motherfucker on top of the head watch him have a tantrum!  But no!  We Americans have rules and laws and Democrats, and we’ll prosecute just about anyone for any-fuckin-thing to the point where our prison system is overrun!

Nope!  Give me the monkeys who are having meltdowns and tantrums because “mommy” is walking away with the milk bottle, and the little tree rat is walking bipedal with his arms outstretched, squawking its fuckin head off!  That’s valuable entertainment!

Take this pretentious American cocksucker for example!  He’s patting himself on the back because he and his wife own a green monkey.  You can’t have a job, can’t have friends, can’t go on vacation!  Why?  Because you got a monkey!

Motherfucker, that’s my life!  Well, I have a job and my wife stays home, but other than that, that’s my fuckin life!  Think owning a monkey is so fuckin special?  Try being a special needs parent to three autistic boys and tell me how much “free time” you have and stress levels and no taking vacations.

Someone commented to one of his videos and asked that when and if he and his wife start having kids whether or not they’ll keep dear, sweet Mojo.  And he said, “yes.”  Riiiight!

Want to know the difference between a monkey and a child?  You can get rid of a monkey and not break the law and no one is the wiser.  You get rid of your kid and your happy ass is going to prison!  Get off your fuckin high horse!

You think you’re so goddamn special because you own a fuckin monkey?  Give me a fuckin break!  Want to know how long it’s been since my wife and I had a vacation?  Five years!  Five fuckin years!  My wife’s sister watched our boys for all that time, and before, my oldest loved her.  Send him to stay with her for five days, and now he gets pissed at the mention of her name.

I don’t know.  A guy on YouTube taught his monkey’s how to shit and piss in the toilet, so you must not be that fuckin smart!

If anyone reading this knows this guy and his wife or you follow his channel, Mojo the Monkey, please, steer him towards my blog.

I watched a video one time, and it was a compilation of monkey smackers.  Anyways, there was a guy who had a monkey in a cage, and he had a shit ton of people over watching a soccer game.  And the monkey was going fuckin ape shit (no pun intended; actually, it was intended).  The guy gets up, goes to the cage, and the look on the monkey’s face was priceless…like, oh shit!  I’ve really fucked up now!  And the guy started smacking the hell out of the poor thing!  Then it showed a video of a brain dead monkey.  Either it fell out of a tree or somebody took a lead pipe to it.

I particularly like videos of baby monkeys falling out of trees and plummeting to their death. 

Or take the YouTube channel Humans Against Monkey Abuse, for instance.  These pretentious cocksuckers-by the way, want to know where I got those two words from?  Pretentious cocksuker?  George Carlin.  I don’t agree with him on religion, but when it came to government, he was a fuckin genius.  Think there aren’t conspiracies out there?  Look at how much governments keep from their people!

He used that phrase to describe singers who use only one name; Cher, Bono, Sting.  And for Bono, it certainly fits.  He went before the United States Congress and testified that a good way to defeat terrorism is by comedy.  Because, after all, that’s how we defeated the Axis Powers during World War Two.  No, pretentious cocksucker!  We defeated them with bombs, bullets and nuclear weapons!

Well, the Axis Powers were defeated, but fascism and Nazism were not.  They are alive and well today!

Winning the war on terrorism is as useless a rhetoric as “end racism”.  What the fuck do you want me to do about ending racism?!  I’m not racist.  What?  Am I supposed to block traffic and burn down buildings and destroy public and private property to show that I am not?

End racism insuates that only white people can be racist.  While we’re at it, why don’t we push to end a lot of things?  End bullying!  End gossiping!  End rape!  End child molestation!  Here’s one O’biden and his cronies don’t seem all too worried about: let’s work to end sex trafficking?!  End being a pretentious cocksucker!

I’m not even going to really touch on Humans Against Monkey Abuse, because these assholes show videos of monkey abuse, and these pretentious cocksuckers act like they’re crusaders for a greater cause!  No!  You’re entertaining thousands of us and you’re giving me writing material!

Here’s a subject I’ve been quite enamored with here lately: monkeys getting stuck.  Watching these videos, one can only conclude that these fuckers didn’t get there on their own!  Take a look at the following pictures.

I’m quite convinced that these two monkeys are one and the same!  In both cases, the monkey is thoroughly exhausted, and looks as though it is about to give up.  Look the monkey stuck in the big blue doors, or whatever the hell that is.  See the sadness?  The “what the fuck am I struggling so hard for”?  It might be a direct reflection of me.

Take a look at this American douche bag, pretentious cocksucker!  He started a cult following on YouTube with his baby monkey, Curtis.  I was trying to decide then, as I am now, whether or his monkey videos were cute or ugly.  People tuned into his channel to see Curtis, not this egotistical cocksucker.

And then…all of a sudden, Curtis was gone.  To start off with, the channel was called Every Wednesday, Every Wednesday Family, now it’s called 4Jay.  And 4Jay has turned his channel into…I don’t know what the fuck you’d call it.  I know it doesn’t have any shortage of nasty women with fake tits, fake asses, fake lips and probably fake vaginas.

What pissed a lot of people off, myself included, was that there was no word on what happened to Curtis.  Did he give him to someone?  Send him to live in a sanctuary?  Or did one of his dogs get a hold of him and shake the monkey shit out of him?

Did “4Jay” find Curtis on the floor, broken and bleeding with blood oozing from his mouth and gasping his last breath?

And if that wasn’t bad enough, some time later, he got another monkey and named him Marco.  As far as I know, Marco hasn’t been in a video for three months.  And every time I ask “where is the monkey”, my comment gets deleted.

It’s common practice in China and other countries in that part of the world, that when a monkey has outgrown its usefulness, cuteness and overall torture ability, the owners just return it to the forest and certain death.  They build their channels on these tree rats, and when it comes time, they start over.  And 4Jay, being mum on what happened to his monkeys, when a lot more endearing fans than I are clamoring for what happened to them with no honest explanation, puts him in the same category as his Chinese counterparts.

He got rid of Curtis when Curtis outgrew his usefulness (honestly, I think one of the dogs got a hold of him and killed him).  And then, to try and reel his monkey fans back in, he got another one.  He stooped to a new low of douche baggery!

Honestly, I’d like to own a pet monkey.  I wouldn’t be mean to it.  At least, I don’t think rhat I would.  Oh, and you have the jackasses who try to shame monkey owners by saying that they ripped the monkeys from their mothers!  Who gives a shit?!  Have you seen the way monkey mothers treat their young?  Downright deplorable!

I don’t see people saying that when a puppy is taken from its mother at six-weeks old and spends the next week crying its heart out!  Fuckin pretentious hypocrites!  You thought I was gonna say “cocksucker”, didn’t you?

I’ve been writing this post for a while now on my phone, and to tell the truth, my thumbs are getting tired.

I started a story about a guy who kidnapped a neighbor’s monkey because the monkey threw a rock at his dog and busted his eye.  If you haven’t read it, I’ll  make it short and sweet for you.  He keeps the monkey down in his basement in a cage and tortures it.  One of my favorite parts is where he gets the monkey right on the dick with a tazer.

Anyway, eventually, he grows tired of cleaning up after him and wants to kill him.  But then he knows he would feel sad because he wouldn’t have anything left to torture.  He goes through the irritating process of having the words fuck this tattooed on one arm, and fuck life tattooed on the other arm in bold, black lettering, and a crude mockup of a middle finger tattooed on the monkey’s chest and belly.  He decides to let the momkey live and secretly returns him to the monkey’s original owners, whom by now, have moved on to another monkey.

With a monkey so traumatized, I’ll let you decide what happens to Kevin the Monkey.

Don’t read this post with such disgust.  The world is a shitty place.  And we all have to play our part.

Marty and Me

What I am about to tell you, I’ve never told anyone, never written a word about it…until now.  When I was nineteen, my uncle’s best friend fucked me.

Shall I tell you about it?

Let it be known that if you decide to keep reading, faithful reader, then you’re in for a graphic treat.  Not all stories in life have a PG-13 rating.

To be fair to myself, my life had recently fallen apart; my dad had died suddenly, one of my siblings was living out-of-state, and I was left alone with a mother who didn’t care.  I was in a severe depression.  Holding down a job at that time was damn near impossible.

Marty was both curse and a blessing.  He’s a curse because ever since, down through the years, I have sucked more than twenty cocks, and have been fucked by no less than five, not including Marty.

He was in his fifties, mostly gray and thinning on top.  A little heavy, he had put on a few pounds since being laid off.  A few pounds, but not much.  He was a 6’1″ to my 5’10”.

I was at home, basking in my sorrows, when he called and asked if I could take him to the unemployment office so he could hand in paperwork.  It didn’t occur to me until I got home, that he could have mailed it out.

He lived with my uncle and neither of them drove.  Now, I’ll say this for Marty, he’s odd.  Not an off-putting odd, just different.  The fact that he’s queer doesn’t apply.

When he opened the door, and I walked in, he had a porno playing.  One guy was busy nailing another guy.

Fuck!  I thought I turned it off!  I’m sorry,” he giggled as he tossed the remote onto the couch.

“It’s okay,” I said, feeling a little awkward.  “I have porn at home.”

“Any of it gay?”

“No.”

“Well, shit!” he cried.  “You don’t know what you’re missing!”  He giggled again and looked me up and down.

“Where’s my uncle?”

“He’s at work.  He’ll be there till six tonight.  Plenty of time for you and I to have some fun!”

“What kind of fun?” I asked.  I had gone from feeling awkward to feeling embarrassed.  My uncle at the time was queer (he’s married to a woman now; his soul mate), and there was such a stigma in my family about men being gay, and if not finding other men attractive, then just having sex with them for the hell of it.

“Have you ever had your dick sucked?”

“Once.”

“Did you cum?”

“No.”

“Then she didn’t do it right.  I’m the best cock sucker this town has ever seen!”

Marty was standing more than an arm’s length away from me.

“You want to give me a blow job?”

“If you’re up for it.”

At that moment, I didn’t know if I should run away, or pull down my pants.  I’d lost my virginity to an older woman, and that was more than a year from this date I’m speaking of.  My self-esteem was in the shitter, I was horny and lonely.

I looked about the living room, and back to Marty.  He was smiling at me.

“Is that the only reason why you called me over here?”

“No.  I really do need to go to the unemployment office, and I know that you’re depressed and could use a friend.  Do you mind?” he asked, gesturing towards my crotch.

“Wha-what are you gonna do?”

“I just want to fondle you,” he said, stepping closer.  “Trust me, I’d love to suck your dick right now, but I know you’d leave right after, and I’d like to hang out with you for a while.  I won’t make you do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“Um…okay,” I took a step backwards and bumped into a table.

“So I can fondle you?”

Had I not clutched the edge of that table like I was holding on for dear life, I would have looked like someone experiencing tremors (no offense to those who do).  My heart was beating so hard, I could hear it in my ears; my breathing was ragged and hoarse.

Finally, his hand came to rest on my cock and balls, and he squeezed and fondled my junk.  Unexpectedly, my dick reacted well to his touch.  His face was a few inches from mine and our eyes locked.

“See?  It isn’t that bad, is it?”

“N-no!”

I looked down and watched while his other hand hooked a couple fingers in the waistband of my pajama pants, and the hand that had been fondling me, slipped inside.  I flinched and air hissed between my teeth when he took hold of me.

Oh yes!” Marty said in a low tone.  “Very, very nice!”

I looked about the room, trying to destract myself from what he was doing.  My cock was liking it!  The shades were up and the curtains were open.  I looked out the window.

“No one’s watching,” he said.  He had ceased stroking my cock and was now massaging my ballsack.  “Your scrotum is big and tight!  I love it!”

I looked down and watched his hand work inside my pants.  A couple inches of my cock had peeked out above the waistband.

“Do you shoot a heavy load?”

“Um…I don’t know.”  I never really paid attention to how much I shot.

“I bet you do!” he said.  “Nice and creamy; a real mouthful!”

He removed his hand from my pants and stood there.  I didn’t know what to think or how to feel.  For years, I had been told that it was wrong for men to have any form of sex, let alone kiss, and here, a man, a friend, had touched me, and while my mind was a raging hurricane, my body reacted well.  These things had been beat into my head by my mother; a mother, who at the time, for whatever reason, despised my existence.  I’ve put those painful memories to rest…I guess…but to this day, I have yet to receive an explanation, let alone an apology.

“Whatever you’re feeling right now is okay,” he said.  “I’m sure that what I just did is quite the shock to you.  But it’s okay.”  I tried to avoid his piercing blue eyes.  But it was impossible.  I had felt abandoned by those who claimed to love me, I was suicidal and without hope. 

Sometimes, knights in shining armor don’t ride up on a stallion; they come on their own two feet, dragging a cart behind them, so you can lay down and they can carry your load.

To Be Continued…

Not Really Sure What the Fuck I Should Call This

I think a lot.

I think of how things were when I was a kid.  I think of my mom, younger, just as pretty then as she is now.  I once teased her how she was a professional butt wiper.  That pissed her off.  And now, all these many years later, I am one, too.

I think of my sisters; young with friends and so sure they had all the answers; idolizing black America’s crowned thug prince, Tupac Shakur.  I can’t stand that fucker!

Does anyone have the answers to life?

It seems that people from all walks of faith like to believe they have all the answers.  My answer to life is do the best you can, but we shouldn’t make excuses.  Sometimes, we’re all like the Apostle Peter: just trying to keep our heads above water.

I think of my dad a lot, too.  He died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm.  The aorta is your heart’s powerhouse artery, I guess.  Once that goes, you’re fucked.  It seems unfair.  So many shitty people in the world, and they get chance after fuckin chance, but my dad?

Nope.  One kill switch and it’s lights out!

I’ve been told that I have had a difficult time in accepting his death.  I don’t disagree with that.  Truth is, I don’t know that I ever will accept it.

Thirty-six years old and some might say get over it!  Some wounds sting for a lifetime.

If my dad could see all the stupid shit I’ve done, shit I won’t repeat to a solitary soul, I wonder if he would still be proud of me.  Or disappointed?  Or would he look at me and say, “you know, a lot of men would have run from the hand that life dealt them, but you didn’t.  So, I’ll give you a pass!”

I guess that’s the main point, isn’t it?  I haven’t run?  I haven’t offed myself like all those times I wanted to.  I’m still here, still breathing.  And even though I fear getting older, I reckon that’s all can do.

Monkey Journal #4

This is all a work of fiction

I suppose I should provide an update on Kevin.  After all, it’s been since, what, November 22 of last year?  November 22.  That’s the anniversary date of the Kennedy assassination.

Anyway, it has no bearing on the matter.  Kevin is still alive, although a little traumatized.  He sits in his cage with his hands behind his head and rocks back and forth.  I suppose there’s little else to do when he’s alone for eight to twelve hours at a time.

His life ain’t all doom and gloom.  I’ve installed security cameras in my basement so I can keep an eye on him while I’m away.  He has one of those training toilets for toddlers with him.  Sometimes he goes in it, sometimes he doesn’t.  And I’ve also tried an experiment with him by keeping a constant stream of porn playing for him while I’m away.

I haven’t caught him playing with himself yet, but when it comes down to watching a regular movie and porn, he chooses porn 8 out of 10 times.

I hate to get rid of him, or kill him, but making sure he doesn’t escape and cleaning up after him gets really old after a while.  Brutus likes to play with him, though.  Which usually involves grabbing him by a foot or the tail and dragging him along the floor.  Kevin is always screeching and crying and looking to me to save him.  One time, I didn’t get to him soon enough and Brutus flung him against the wall.  Kevin hit head first and lay comatose for several seconds.

That ends this journal entry.  Kevin has a few tattoos now, and I’ll tell you about that the next time we talk.

Abortion vs. Vasectomy Analogy

First off, who deems whom financially or emotionally fit to be a parent? Just because someone is not “wealthy” doesn’t make them a bad parent. And unless you have tens of thousands and thousands of dollars in the bank, you will never be financially ready to be a parent. The average cost of reversing a vasectomy is between $7,000 to $9,000. So, who pays for that? This by far is the most asinine comparison I have ever heard of!

I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say that women have to fight for their abortion “rights” every single day. Since Roe vs Wade, do you know how many times abortion has been overturned, even when the Supreme Court has been packed with conservatives? Zero! Nada! Zip!

Abortion ain’t going anywhere!

While we are at it, let’s stop calling it abortion, and call it what it is: population control. And if you think that governments or billionaires like Bill Gates haven’t expressed support for population control, think again. One only has to look to China to see a clear example. But then again, they’re hardly ever swept up into a war. War is a vital component to population control, too. Hence the reason why President Trump didn’t start any new wars, and Joe Biden has already started sending weapons to the Middle East. Admiral Charles Richard has warned of possible nuclear war with China and Russia.

We are primed for a big one, folks!

Now, some people would say that I, like Augustus McCrae, would argue with a possum. But what the hell? I love the movie Lonesome Dove, so let’s turn on some George Jones and jump right in!

For arguments sake, let’s say that at some point in the near future, the United States government mandates that all males between the ages of 10 and 19 must have an involuntary vasectomy. Vasectomys are able to be reversed, but even a reversal is not 100%.

According to the US Census Bureau, there were 41,852,838 males in the United States as of 2019. Having a vasectomy is cheap; anywhere from 100 to a thousand dollars. It’s the reversal that gets you. And as I stated earlier, a reversal costs between $7,000 to $9,000. Granted, not all males, once they get older and are deemed financially and emotionally fit to have children, will want to have their vasectomys reversed.

I still have yet to figure out how one is considered financially and emotionally fit to be a parent, but again, this is all for fun, sort of. In reality, this argument is as dubious as the analogy. But you get the point.

Are you still reading? Good!

Of those 41,852,838 males, let’s say that eighty percent get their vasectomys reversed. Eighty percent of 41,852,838 is 33,482,270. Between the seven-thousand and nine-thousand, we will play it safe and go with eight-thousand dollars. Which, by the way, who’s going to pay for these? Given the fact that Democrats want to fuck up our economy and socialize everything, we will say the American taxpayer will foot the bill.

Great! We pay for everything else! Why not someone’s vasectomy reversal?! God damn liberals!

Feel free to check my math. Well, my calculators math; 33,482,270 times $8,000 is: $267,858,160,000! Hell, by this time, we may be using the Digital Dollar or the Amero. Regardless of how it goes, it’s all fiat currency. In layman’s terms, it’s currency that isn’t backed by a commodity, such as gold or silver.

I’m sure that I am going to get comments to this claiming that since I am a man, and not a woman, (thank God Almighty), then I have no right to an opinion. If that is the selfish argument with which you are going to bring me, then go on bye. I’ll say this: if you are a Republican or someone who voted for President Trump, and you believe this way, you’re a RINO, a jackass wearing elephant’s skin!

Despite how the media likes to portray us, men are more than simple minded fools who think of more than just breasts and where to stick our dicks!

It wasn’t women who signed the Declaration of Independence and created the Constitution. It wasn’t women, who up until the last few decades, were dying in American wars. It wasn’t teenage girls and young women who were getting shipped to Europe to fight a terrible evil during World War Two and dying on the beaches of Normandy. Did you know that President Truman had two national addresses written for D-Day? One for failure and one for success? And aside from the paper shopping bag and foot pedal trashcan, the inventions created by women worth noting are kevlar, the circular saw and the computer! Now, that’s pretty damn impressive!

As ridiculous as this argument is, it is a polarizing one, nonetheless. Do I think the world could come to the point of forced sterilization? Sure. Do I think war and abortion are the methods of the world power elite to try and control the world’s population? Yes, I do. Since it’s inception in our culture, over sixty-two million babies have been aborted since 1973.

Sixty-two million! How many great leaders, doctors, inventors have we lost out on? George Carlin once said that Americans should stop expecting the government to fix education. Every time you hear a politician talk, it’s always “we need more education!” No. We need you to get the fuck out!

Politicians will never make an honest effort to fix education because they dont want Americans capable of critical thinking. I once read a study, believe it or not, (the study, not my ability to read) that said that Americans are the friendliest people on earth. Why? Because when you see a stranger in the store, what do you do? You smile at them. Why do you smile? Because you’re showing that person that you mean them no harm.

And in that, is our individual identity. In following mask mandates without question, we as Americans, have lost our identity. We no longer see each other as fellow Americans, but as possible carriers of germs. We want things to go back to normal, but they won’t. COVID protocols are much more than virus protection; and like the topic of abortion, it’s about control and divisive manipulation.

My Political Thoughts So Far…

Henry Ford and Nazi Germany

It’s interesting the things you learn when you read.  For instance, did you know that Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, was not only antisemitic, but a strong supporter of Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Germany?  From 1920 to 1927, Ford published a newspaper called “The Dearborn Independent”.  And with these publications, he was soon seen as a prominent spokesman of “right-wing extremism and religious prejudice.” 

Documentary filmmaker, Ira Berkow, states that on May 22, 1920, Ford wrote, “If fans wish to know the trouble with American baseball they have it in three words—too much Jew.”  Nazi Germany would later publish his newspapers in four volumes called “The International Jew, the World’s Foremost Problem”.  Hitler himself would later regard Ford as “one great man.”  While testifying at Nuremberg, Baldur Von Shirach, said that he and his comrades were influenced by “The International Jew”. 

“I read it and became antisemitic,” he said.  He and his friends saw Henry Ford as a “representative of success” in their crusade to exterminate the Jews.  It should be noted that Shirach was instrumental in shepherding over 65,000 Jews to concentration camps im Poland.

According to his book, “The Rise of the Fourth Reich”, Jim Marrs states “Ford’s son, Edsel, sat on the board of American I.G. Farben and G.A.F.  In July 1940, at a meeting in Dearborn, Michigan, between ITT’s Westrick and the Fords, it was decided that rather than build aircraft engines for beleaguered Britain, the Ford company would build five-ton military trucks for Germany, “the backbone of German Army transportation.”

What is most disturbing is that like George Bush’s grandfather, Prescott Bush, whose firm laundered money to Nazi Germany, none of these men were ever tried for treason.  General Motors escaped the treasonous gallows as well.  They provided synthetic fuel technology to Nazi Germany.

I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that up until 1918, Henry Ford was a Republican.  After that…

….he was a Democrat!

Politicians Pay Lip Service to the Constitution

Since we’re on the subject, notice how politicians like to throw around the word “Constitution” when the cameras are on?  Did you know that holding the impeachment trial in the Senate for a President who’s not even in office is un-Constitutional?  Funny the things you learn when you read the Constitution, huh?

Fuck off, Joe

Joe Biden,

Notice how I didn’t put a “dear” or “President” in front of that?  Anyway, you and your cohorts in crime should be ashamed of how you’re treating the men and women occupying Washington.  Making them sleep on the cold, hard ground and on the cold concrete in a parking garage?  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s because I’m not a military man, but we’re not at war.  These are men and women who are protecting your sorry asses!  I don’t see how the Joint Chiefs can stand to be in the same room with you.  I hear that President Trump offered to put those men and women up in his hotel.  Good for him!  I also hear that the Pentagon won’t let you have access to an ongoing intelligence operation!  Bravo!  I hope they keep it up!

PS: I even saw a video of a handicapped man bringing those same soldiers pizza.  You’re a disgrace.

Executive Orders

During his first 100 days in office, President Trump signed 24 executive orders.  His first day in office, Joe Biden signed 17!  Do you see the imbalance of power?  And most of his executive orders will eliminate jobs that President Trump’s administration created, and will cost the American taxpayers more money that President Trump saved.  Joe Biden will break the economy!  There’s going to be another war somewhere soon!  Bet on it!  Still think it was a good idea to vote for him?

Climate Change

People think that climate control initiatives and more taxes and regulations will stem global warming, but it won’t.  Just as sanctions do not bring tyrannical dictatorships to their knees, climate control taxes further line the wealthy’s pockets.

Re-education?

Now a handful of professors are combining their efforts to blacklist President Trump and his administration officials from getting book deals.  Never before has an outgoing President received this sort of censoring.  Fascists don’t get censored; fascists do the censoring.  Remember that.

The United States and Concentration Camps

Fun fact: the incarceration of Japanese Americans in US made concentration camps took place from 1942 to 1946.  And guess what party was in the White House!  Yep!  A Democrat!

Mask Mandate

So Joe Biden doesn’t have to wear a mask for a photo op at the Lincoln Memorial, but one soldier is seen without a mask, and national guardsmen are forced to sleep outside and in a parking garage?  The 3rd Amendment protects you from being forced to give quarters to military personnel.  I say let’s repeal that for Congressional members.  Let the soldiers sleep in warm, comfortable beds while the politicians sleep in the cold!

Joe Biden COVID Answer

Remember in October of last year how Biden criticized President Trump about his handling of the COVID epidemic?  Well, now Joe “Creeping While You’re Sleeping” Biden says he can’t change the trajectory of COVID-19 for the next several months.  Imagine that!  Will Americans have any rights left by summer?

Democrats Are Dogs

You gotta hand it to the Democrats, boy!  Once they latch onto a bone, they never let go of the friggin thing!  Crooked Chuck Schumer says that if President Trump’s impeachment trial fails, they have a backup plan!  And that plan is to use the 14th Amendment to bar the President from ever running for office again.  Of course, this would be because of the inciteful comments the President never made. 

Critical Thinking

Now, I’m calling on liberals and conservatives-just those of us who have the ability of free thinking-to ask the question: why do the Democrats want the President gone so bad?  They tried to have him removed from office over Ukraine; didn’t work.  They tried to have Mike Pence remove him from office; didn’t work.  And now, they’re going to waste more American taxpayer dollars to try a man who isn’t even holding any kind of office at the moment! 

Why would they waste more time with this?  The economy was good under President Trump.  We didn’t get into any new wars, unlike the previous Democrats and Republicans.  We weren’t nuked.  We didn’t go to war with Russia (on second thought, maybe that’s what they wanted).  Our economy has been ravaged by COVID-19, and this is the Democratic Congress’ first act? 

Democrats are pathetic!

So why waste all this time?  Because they don’t like outsiders!  No President has been treated as badly as President Trump has been.  And that’s because, in its entirety, Donald Trump has called Washington DC out on all its bullshit.

Debunked

Has anyone ever noticed how members of the media will spend a copious amount of time bashing each other, but when it comes to protecting the government, they join forces? This is debunked! That is debunked! Theories and questions are quickly pushed aside! The fact that you have liberties and rights and the right to privacy are quickly debunked.

Stammering Joe and Executive Orders

For four years, all we heard from Democrats and liberals is how President Trump is such a ruthless dictator! Now, they’re applauding Joe Biden for setting a record for most executive orders signed his first week in office, despite Biden condemning the act in October of last year, calling them the act of a “dictator”. Do you see the hypocrisy? It’s never about us; it’s about them! Well, we can’t say much for him, but we can say one thing for stammering Joe, at least. He calls them like he sees them!

These Fuckin Cock Suckers Don’t Care About You!!!

Nancy Pelosi says that it would be “harmful to unity” to skip President Trump’s impeachment trial.  What trial?  What unity?  This national divide started clear back when Bush II was in office and “Mission Accomplished” turned into “Mission Failure”.  Donald Trump has left office.  I don’t know how many ways I can say this, but Pelosi is fuckin batshit crazy!  The system is fuckin broken, the system is a fuckin fraud!  It’s a fuckin sham!  A slap in the face to the American people!  These dickheads fought for MONTHS about a stimulus bill to give AMERICANS money to live on when people were broke, they didn’t have jobs, they were fuckin hungry!  Trust me!  I worked through it all, and Ramen noodles sold like fuckin GOLD!  To any liberal reading this, these dickheads, both parties, fought months and months to pass a stimulus bill, because they both wanted to add their own pet projects into it, but they’ll give some fuckin  JACKASS overseas free money that YOU AND I have to fuckin pay for!  How does this not piss you the fuck off?!  How can you think that Biden and Pelosi and Romney and McConnell are so fuckin wonderful?!  You remember the movie “A Bug’s Life”?  Hang with me a second, you’ll see where I am going with this.  Anyway, the scene where Hopper tells his crew that “those ants outnumber us a hundred to one!  And if they figure that out, there goes our way of life!”  We’re the ants!  They’re the grasshoppers!  Let that sink in!  I don’t agree with George Carlin on religion, but I will say this: he’s right about government when he said, “those cock suckers in Washington don’t give a fuck about you!”  Let that sink in!

Fuck count (in case the “F” word offends you: 11 Fucks

End of the Republic?

To say that I am disappointed that President Trump is conceding the election, is a gross understatement.  I support the President now, and I’ll support him long after he leaves office.  And to all my liberal friends who read this and wonder how someone can support him, allow me to put it to you gracefully: he isn’t a career politician.

Think about that.

With the exception of Donald J. Trump, every person who has ran for the Office of President and won, every single last one of them, has been a career politician.  And career politicians are like a family.  Think of them as dueling mafia clans.  Sure, one of them gets sacrificed every now and then, but once someone from the outside comes along to upset that balance, they bond together to fight that person.

People think that after Biden takes office, things will go on like they are, but they won’t.  President Trump has changed things.  His election has exposed how crooked and rancid American society really is.  For four years, all we heard about was Russian collusion.  The government spent more money investigating that altogether than they did the terror attacks of September 11, 2001; even with inflation taken into consideration.  And ever since that day, the United States has been under a constant state of “declared war”.

We are the Late Great United States!  We prop up dictators and support despotism, toppled governments and have installed puppet regimes, but how dare someone interfere with our election process!

Think about that.

I have never seen a President so embattled than President Trump.  And that was even before he took office.  People who once loved him for his money, now hate him.  Celebrities who make their living by “playing pretend” called for his assassination.  And we’re deplorables?

Had any conservative celebrity said this about Obama, they would be blacklisted from Hollywood.  Want to know why Hollywood liberals schmoozed so close to Obama?  Because he was HALF black.  And everyone hates to be branded as a racist nowadays.

I’ll throw another wrench in your cogs: freedom is an illusion.  Now, we can talk all day long about term limits and throwing current members out, pay cuts and all that shit, but it won’t happen.  The government has gained all the authority, and we let them.

I wish I could say that great days are ahead for the United States, but I can’t.  We’re going to see more foreign entanglements that have absolutely nothing to do with us, a stronger push for gun abolition, unprecedented spending and a massive government overhaul that will dwarf our wildest fears.  People think that with Biden, things will get better, but they won’t.  It will be back to more of “meet the new boss, same as the old boss”.

During President Trump’s four years, we had a real chance to correct some of our wrongs.  However, we decided to focus on Russia.  Democrats and the media sold us a lie and many fell for it, hook, line and sinker!

Now, a weary President Trump will leave the White House on January 20th.  A cowardly Mike Pence will come back to Indiana, hopefully, a cold welcome.  For four years, he had to defend his character as opposed to tackling the real issues plaguing America.  One of our greatest missed opportunities.

And that, my fellow Americans, is truly sad.

Monkey Journal #3

I haven’t posted here for a few days. Some changes have been made. For one, I’ve hung plastic up around the cage. That way if “Kevin” decides to have a tantrum and throw his shit, it’ll hit the plastic and not the walls. Second, I’ve laid sawdust and straw down on the bottom of his cage. That seems to help with the smell and he actually seems to have picked a corner to do his business. I’ve also given him a small blanket.

I swear I’m not going soft!

And third, instead of spraying down his cage, I fill a bucket with hot water (not scalding hot, but hot enough), and dunk his ass in it; careful to wash his head entirely with body wash. I think his previous owners used to give him baths, because he didn’t appear to be intimidated by the water. That was until he got in, and then it was a screeching, hollering fit. I dunked his head quite a few times. He always comes up coughing and gagging.

I dry him off with a towel that has been hung out on the line, no fabric softener. To be honest, the towel feels like fuckin sand paper. He screeches and howls, and does his best to get away from me, but there’s no place for him to go. He gets three meals a day, so he isn’t starving.

I’ve watched videos online of how Chinese and other people in that part of the world treat their monkeys, and boy, can they be brutal. I’m getting some good ideas, though. For instance: they train them to walk on their hind legs by tying their hands behind their backs and leading them by a collar. Try putting a small collar on this little fucker, why don’t you!

I took my tazer out and caught him right on the dick with it! He flopped all over the fuckin place, screeching and hollering. I was able to finally put the collar on him and zip-tie his hands behind his back. I took him upstairs and led him around on the leash for a while. He’d take a couple steps, fall over, hit his lips, have a tantrum and lay there squawking. I’d get him back on his feet and lead him around some more. He did better as the day went along, but I eventually took him back downstairs, put him back in his cage and freed his hands.

His hair is starting to grow back, so I have to figure out a way shave him while he’s awake. More on that later.